British Council-10

Ravi: Hello. I’m Ravi - and I want to say
welcome to a special Learn English elementary
podcast number ten. This is the last podcast in
the first series {pause} so today we’re going to
do something a bit different. We’ve had lots of
emails from you, the listeners, and lots of great
comments on the site, saying how much
you’ve enjoyed all of the podcasts in this
series. So Gordon, our producer, has put
together some of your favourite parts from the
first nine podcasts for you to hear again – or
maybe for you to hear for the first time. Any
way, listen again, or for the first time, and we
hope you enjoy it! Especially for any new
listeners out there, our first section is from
podcast one – and it’s the part when you get to
meet me, Tess and Gordon.

Section 1 – Conversations in English:
“Susan, this is Paul” – introducing your
friends

Ravi: Hello, and welcome to LearnEnglish
elementary podcast number one. My name’s
Ravi …
Tess: … and I’m Tess. We’re your presenters
and we’ve got lots of things for you to listen to
today, but before we start, I think we should
introduce ourselves. Ravi?
Ravi: OK … erm … I’m Ravi
Tess: (interrupting) or, I tell you what, I’ll
introduce you and you can introduce me. How
about that?
Ravi: Well, OK then. Erm, this is Tess. She’s
from London. She’s (pause) how old are you?
Tess: (joking) None of your business, Ravi!
Rav: i(laughs) and she loves dancing and
riding her mountain bike. OK?
Tess: OK. And this is Ravi. He comes from
Manchester. He’s 23. Oh, aren’t you?
(checking)
Ravi: Oh yes.
Tess: He likes football – and (pause) he’s a
great cook.
Ravi: Thanks! And there’s one more person
for you to meet. I’d like to introduce our
producer, Gordon. (raised voice) Say hello to
everyone Gordon!
Gordon: (distant voice) Hello! Pleased to meet
you!
Ravi & Tess (together): Hi Gordon
Tess: And how are you today?
Gordon: (distant) Very well thank you Tess.
Tess: Good! We’ll speak to Gordon again later
in the show but now it’s time to get on with our
programme.

Section 2 – I’d like to meet

Ravi: Right, so that’s us. The next section is
‘I’d like to meet’, when we talk to people about
a famous person that they’d like to meet. A lot
of you thought that this one was very
interesting. It’s from podcast number seven –
and it’s Muhammed from Manchester, talking
about a very important man.

Tess: So let’s say hello to this week’s guest,
Muhammed from Manchester. Hi Muhammed.
Welcome to ‘I’d like to meet’.
Muhammed: Hi Tess and Ravi
Ravi: Hi Muhammed. So you’re a Manchester
boy like me. Good football team eh.
Muhammed: Which one?

Ravi: Which one!? No – don’t tell me you’re a
Manchester City supporter! Noooo!
Muhammed: I’m afraid so. Sorry Ravi.
Tess: Ravi can’t speak – so I’ll continue. What
do you do Muhammed?
Muhammed: I’m at college at the moment - but
when I finish I want to join the police.
Tess: You want to be a policeman. What made
you decide to do that?
Muhammed: My uncle’s a policeman. I don’t
know really – it’s just something I’ve always
wanted to do.
Tess: OK. Now, who are you going to talk
about today Muhammed – who’s the person
that you’d like to meet – if you had the chance?
Muhammed: I want to talk about Muhammed
Yunus.
Tess: OK. Off you go.
Muhammed: Well, he’s from Bangladesh –
from Chittagong actually – that’s where my
dad’s family came from – we’ve still got
relations living there. And I think everyone
knows his name now – since he won the Nobel
Peace Prize in 2006 – well he won it with his
bank.
Ravi: A bank won the Nobel peace prize?
Muhammed: Yes. The Grameen Bank?
Microcredit?
Ravi: Well, yeah, it sounds familiar.
Muhammed: It’s a bank for poor people.
Tess: Perhaps you’d better explain how it
works Muhammed.
Muhammed: Well, it all started when he - Dr
Yunus – he’s a professor of economics - he
visited a village outside Chittagong, and he
talked to a very poor woman – and he realised
that she only needed a small amount of money
– just a couple of dollars – and then she could
buy materials to make things and sell them and
earn money. She couldn’t borrow money from
the bank because they didn’t believe that she
would pay it back. He found more people in the
same situation - think it was forty-two people in
the village – and all of them together only
needed twenty-seven dollars -- that’s all they
needed to be able to start making money for
themselves. So he lent them the money - and
they all paid it back to him later. Then he went
to other villages and did the same thing. So he
started his own bank – the Grameen Bank – to
lend small amounts of money to poor people,
mostly women actually. That’s what microcredit
means.
Tess: What kinds of things do they use the
money for?
Muhammed: Well, a woman can buy a cow,
and then she can sell the milk and pay to send
her children to school. Or she could buy a
mobile phone – the villages don’t have
telephones – and then people can pay to use
her phone. They aren’t expensive things – it
just means that poor people can start to earn
money. And now the Grameen Bank lends
millions and millions of dollars to people.
Ravi: And they all pay it back?
Muhammed: Most of them yes – something
like 99 per cent. And now countries like the
United States and Britain are using the idea
too, it’s all over the world - so – well, I think
he’s brilliant – a real hero. That’s what I’d like
to say to him.
Tess: Well thank you Muhammed. That was
really interesting.
Muhammed: Thanks.
Ravi: There’s an old joke isn’t there –
something about ‘a bank will only lend you
money if you can prove that you don’t need it’.
Tess: Well yes – it’s true isn’t it! I’d never really
thought about it before.
Ravi: No, nor me.

Section 3 – Quiz

Ravi: So that was Muhammed talking about
Muhammed Yunus. I learnt some interesting
things that day. {pause} And now the quiz.
We’ve played lots of different games in the
quiz section – words beginning with letters of
the alphabet, things that are different colours, -
but this game is one of your favourites. Hot
Seat. And this one’s from podcast number four.

Ravi: Every week we have a little quiz to make
you think. This week we’re going to play Hot
Seat again. Here to play are Hannah and Max.
Hi Hannah.
Hannah: Hello
Ravi: Hi Max
Max: Hello.
Ravi: You’re both from Sheffield, is that right?
Max: Yeah
Ravi: And how old are you?
Max: I’m seventeen
Hannah: And I’m sixteen. We go to the same
school. St Joseph’s.
Ravi: Are you in the same class?

Hannah: We are, yeah.
Ravi: OK. And who’s doing what? Who’s going
to explain the words and who’s going to be in
the Hot Seat?
Hannah: I’ll explain and Max’ll guess.
Ravi: OK. OK, Max?
Max: OK.
Ravi: Right. Remember how to play? These
cards have all got words on. Hannah has to
explain the words and Max has to guess them.
But remember Hannah, you can’t use the
words on the card. Max, you have to guess as
many words as you can in one minute. OK?
Hannah and Max: OK
Ravi: Then let’s go. You’ve got one minute
starting now!
Hannah: Erm .. big thing. On the sea. You sail
in it.
Max: Boat? Ship.
Hannah: Ship! An animal. Small. Big ears.
Max: Elephant.
Hannah: No. It’s small. Carrots! It eats carrots.
Max: Rabbit.
Hannah: Yes, yes! Erm .. you do it at the disco.
Max: Dance.
Hannah: Yes! It’s a fruit I think. It’s very hard.
It’s got milk inside. You can eat part of it but
not the outside.
Max:Coconut!
Hannah: Yes! Erm, you go there when you’re
sick.
Max: Hospital. Doctor’s.
Hannah: Hospital. It’s white. Comes from a
cow. You drink it.
Max: Milk.
Hannah: It goes across the river. You cross it.
Max: A bridge
Hannah: You stand under it in the morning and
you wash yourself.
Max: Shower!
Hannah: It’s a day. Erm …you’ll be eighteen
Max: Birthday.
Ravi: We’ll give you ‘birthday’. Fantastic. How
many was that? I make it nine. Is that right?
Yes, nine. Brilliant. Well done Hannah and
Max!

Section 4 – Our person in

Ravi: Yes, well done Hannah and Max. {pause}
And now the next thing we’ve got for you is
‘Our person in..’. when people around the
world tell us something interesting about where
they live. And this time it’s something that I do
know about - the Indian film industry. Bridget
Keenan lives in India and she’s talking about
Bollywood – and it comes from podcast
number nine.

Bridget: India is a nation of cinema-lovers –
almost 40 million people go to the cinema each
month and India produces almost twice as
many films each year as the USA. The Indian
film industry is known as Bollywood and you
never feel like you are far from its influence. In
cities, giant hand-painted images of Bollywood
stars look down at the passing traffic and in
parts of India film stars have used their
popularity to start careers as politicians.
Bollywood films are quite different to
Hollywood films. Although the plots can be
similar, the Indian films feature a lot more
singing and dancing – there are usually six
songs and at least two huge dance scenes. In
fact, the stories are often very predictable and
always have a happy ending – but that doesn’t
stop people going to see them. And going to
see films is a special experience too - much
noisier and livelier than British cinemas. The
crowd will cheer on the hero through all the
action scenes, whistle through the songs and
offer advice and support throughout the film.
The audience can be as much fun as the film.
That audience seems to be almost everyone in
India – from the very old to the very young. In
the countryside there are touring cinemas – a
lorry travelling with all the equipment to make a
temporary cinema in a village for one night
before moving on to the next place. It’s a love
of cinema shared by the whole, huge country
unlike anywhere else in the world.
Ravi: Hehe. That brings back some memories.
We used to watch loads of Bollywood films
when I was a kid. They’re great fun.
Tess: Did you? Do you still watch them now?
Ravi: Not really. If I’m at my mum and dad’s I
might. My mum still watches them quite a lot.
Tess: I’ve never seen a Bollywood film. They
sound very … different.
Ravi: I’ll lend you a DVD.

Section 5 – Your turn

Ravi: And that’s reminded me - I never did lend
Tess that Bollywood DVD. Something to
remember next time I see her. Now, a lot of

you enjoy the next section – ‘Your turn’. And a
lot of you wrote to us to tell us what you think
about all the questions that we talked about in
this series. But now, let’s listen to ‘Your turn’
from podcast number six.

Tess: Now it’s time for Your Turn. Your Turn is
when we go out in the street to find out what
people think. This time the question was …..
"How green are you?"
Ravi: Nice one. “How green are you?” – what
do you do to help save the planet? Like use
public transport.
Tess: OK. Let’s hear what people said.
Voice 1: What do I do to help save the planet?
Not enough. I hate to say it, but it’s true, I
mean, I always try to remember not to use
plastic bags or recycle or whatever but I
always forget. I really have to try to do more.
Voice 2: Well, we recycle pretty much
everything we can, you know, bottles, cans,
newspapers and all that but to be honest we
don’t do much else.
Voice 3: I do as much as I can. You have to,
you know? We all have to. I don’t take short-
haul flights anymore – I used to fly down to
London quite a lot – and of course I recycle
and everything else I can.
Voice 4: I know I’m not going to make myself
popular saying this but I don’t really do very
much. Look – there are factories all over the
world putting out loads and loads of pollution
every single day and I don’t see how saving
your old newspapers is going to help apart
from making people feel good about
themselves.
Voice 5: I’ll tell you the greenest thing I do – I
grow almost all my own vegetables. I’ve really
started thinking about where my food comes
from and the food miles and that – you know,
like I won’t buy food that’s been flown here
from Australia or something.
Tess: They make me feel a bit guilty. Some
people do so much. I feel like the first woman
who said she didn’t do enough. I don’t think I
do enough. I do recycle things though.
Ravi: Me too. It’s difficult though, isn’t it?
Anyway, remember, listeners, that we’d love to
know what you think. How green are you?
What do you do to help save the planet? You
can write and tell us at
learnenglishpodcast@britishcouncil.org.

Section 6 – Carolina

Ravi: An interesting question. And don’t forget,
it isn’t too late for you to send us your opinion
about this, or any of the other ‘Your turn’
questions in series one. We always enjoy
hearing from you. {pause} Now for my favourite
part of the podcast – the adventures of
Carolina. A lot of you said that you liked this
one the best. Carolina makes a mistake with
her English – and it’s from podcast number
seven.

Tess: OK. Time now to find out how Carolina’s
getting on in Newcastle. Carolina, you might
remember, is a student from Venezuela who’s
come to Britain to live, study and have fun.
Last time we listened, Carolina joined some
societies at the university but this time she’s
not feeling too well.

In the shared residence kitchen

Carolina: Hi Emily.
Emily: Hi. What are you doing here? I thought
you had a seminar at 10 o’clock.
Carolina: I did, but I’m not feeling very well.
(she sneezes)
Emily: Bless you! You sound terrible. You’d
better go to bed. Did you tell your tutor that you
were ill?
Carolina: No, I was early, he wasn’t there, but I
left a note on the door. I said I was sorry, but I
was very constipated.
Emily: Constipated? Why did you tell him you
were constipated?
Carolina: Well, because I am. (she sneezes)
See, I can’t stop sneezing.
Emily: You don’t sneeze when you’re
constipated. Constipated means that you can’t
go to the toilet, you know, you’re blocked ….. ,
you know, you try and try but you can’t …. well
you know.
Carolina: Oh no! I was thinking in Spanish! In
Spanish we say I’m constipada! (she sneezes)
Emily: Well in English it’s a cold. You say I’ve
got a cold – a bad cold.
Carolina: I knew that! I’ve got a cold! What a
stupid mistake! It’s because I’m ill – my head
feels like it’s full of, I don’t know, ….. cake.
Emily: Cake?!
Carolina: And I left a note on the door.
Everyone’s going to laugh at me.

Emily: No they won’t. Don’t be silly. Everyone
knows English isn’t your first language – you
made a mistake that’s all.
Carolina: But they won’t know it’s a mistake.
(she sneezes) They’ll think I wanted to tell
everyone that I was constipated, that I couldn’t
go to the toilet. Oh, I want to go home to
Venezuela.
Emily: Look, it’s not ten o’clock yet. I’ll go the
room and take the note off the door and
explain to…. who?
Carolina: Professor Grogan. Room 102. It’ll be
too late.
Emily: And you can go to the chemist’s and get
yourself something to take. Then come back
here and go to bed. You look awful. Have
some hot lemon and honey – that’s what my
mother always gives me.
Carolina: (she sneezes) OK, thanks a lot
Emily.

At the chemist’s

Chemist: Good morning. Can I help you?
Carolina: (she sneezes) Yes please. I can’t
stop sneezing. (she sneezes) Have you got
anything I can take?
Chemist: Is it a cold or an allergy?
Carolina: It’s a cold. I don’t have any allergies,
at least I don’t think so.
Chemist: Have you got any other symptoms?
(Carolina sneezes) A sore throat? A
headache? A cough?
Carolina: Yes, my throat hurts – it hurts when I
eat or drink, and my head hurts too.
Chemist: Have you got a temperature?
Carolina: A temperature? (she sneezes)
What’s that? I’m sorry, my English is terrible
today.
Chemist: You know, have you got a high
temperature, do you feel hot? Is your face hot?
Carolina: You mean a fever? Yes, yes, I think
so, my face is hot but my body feels cold.
Chemist: OK. It sounds like a bad cold. Let’s
see … ... this should help. Are you allergic to
any medicines?
Carolina: No, no I’m not. How often do I have
to take it?
Chemist: Two spoonfuls, four times a day. The
instructions are on the bottle. Don’t take it if
you’re driving, it might make you sleepy.
Carolina: That’s OK. I just want to go to bed.
Should I take anything else?
Chemist: Vitamin C will help. Here you are.
Take one of these three times a day. And drink
plenty of water. Where are you from, if you
don’t mind me asking?
Carolina: Venezuela. I’ve only been here a few
weeks.
Chemist: Ah. Venezuela. I expect our English
weather is a bit too cold for you then. Spend
the rest of the day in bed and keep warm.
You’ll feel a lot better tomorrow.
Carolina: I hope so.
Chemist: If you still feel terrible in two or three
days then you should go and see a doctor.
Carolina: Thank you very much. And how
much is that for the medicines?

Tess: Poor Carolina. It’s terrible when you feel
ill in a foreign country.
Ravi: "I am constipated."
Tess: Oh, stop it Ravi.
Ravi: Yeah, you’re right. It is quite funny
though. And she got some medicine so I’m
sure she’s OK.

Section 7 – The Joke (1)

Ravi: Ah, ‘I’m constipated’. I thought that was
really funny when I first heard it. And it still
makes me laugh now. Poor Carolina – her
English is usually so good. And talking about
funny – at the end of every podcast, Gordon,
our producer, tells a joke. Sometimes good,
sometimes – well, terrible. But a lot of you
wrote to tell us that you really liked Gordon’s
jokes. And there were two favourites. So let’s
listen to them both. This one comes from
podcast number one.

Tess: Come on Gordon! Are you ready?
Gordon: I’m ready.
Ravi: I hope this is good Gordon.
Gordon: How long have I got?
Ravi: One minute – at the most.
Gordon: OK then. Right. A chicken walks into
a library (is interrupted)
Ravi: (laughing) A chicken?
Gordon: Yeah. A chicken walks into a library,
walks up to the counter and says to the
librarian “Book, book” (like a chicken). The
librarian gives the chicken 2 books – she puts
the books on the chicken’s head – and the
chicken walks out of the library.
One hour later, the chicken walks back into the

library. It walks up to the counter and says to
the librarian “Book, book” (like a chicken). The
librarian gives the chicken 2 books and the
chicken walks out of the library.
An hour later, this happens again. “Book,
book”, and the chicken walks out of the library
with 2 books on its head. But this time the
librarian thinks, “Hmm, this is strange” so she
decides to follow the chicken. She goes out of
the library and follows the chicken. The
chicken crosses the road, walks along the
street, turns the corner, until it comes to the
lake. Sitting by the lake is a big, fat frog. The
chicken gives the books to the frog and the
frog looks at them and says “Read it, Read it”.
(like a frog - past tense of ‘read’)
Tess: (laughing) Oh Gordon, that’s terrible.

Section 7 – The Joke (2)

Ravi: Don’t worry about Tess – she always
says Gordon’s jokes are terrible. And here’s
your other favourite. It’s from podcast number
two.

Ravi: OK then Gordon, let’s hear your joke for
today.
Gordon: OK. It’s a camping joke. Tess, you’ll
love it.
Ravi: (sceptical) Come on then.
Gordon: Well, Sherlock Holmes and Doctor
Watson are on a camping trip in the
countryside. Late at night, Holmes and
Watson are lying on their backs looking up at
all the stars in the sky. Sherlock Holmes says,
“Doctor Watson, look at the stars and tell me
what important question we have to ask.”
Doctor Watson says, “Well, OK. There are
millions and millions of stars in the sky. No-
one knows exactly how many. There are
planets out there that no-one has seen with a
telescope. Maybe there is a planet
somewhere that is just like earth. I think the
question we have to ask is, “Is there life in
another part of our universe?”
And Sherlock Holmes says, “Watson, you idiot!
The question we have to ask is “WHERE IS
OUR TENT?”
Ravi: (laughing) That’s quite good, actually
Gordon. Not bad.

Ravi: I think that’s my favourite actually. And I
hope you liked it too. {pause} Well, that’s all for
today. Usually, Tom the teacher comes along
to talk about the language that you’ve heard in
the podcasts, but this podcast is a little bit
different. I hope you’ve enjoyed our Learn
English elementary podcast ‘greatest hits’ and
I hope you’ll go back and listen to more of
them again. You can go to the ‘previous
podcasts’ section on the website and listen to
any of them – and you can hear Tom the
teacher’s comments and advice there. So
that’s all from me! See you next time, in series
two. Bye!